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A Mother's Love
Touching portrayal of an American Family
By April Jones
My Flesh and Blood
Director: Jonathan Karsh
Documentary DVD (2003)
Chaiken Films
What makes a family? A mom, a dad, 2.5 kids and a white picket fence? A young couple in their starter home with the golden retriever barking in the background? Nowadays we know there is no true definition. In the case of Susan Tom family is adopting as many children as your heart and sanity will allow. And that's what she does in the film "My Flesh and Blood."
Filmmaker Jonathan Karsh looks into Tom's life in Fairfield, CA as a single parent who adopted 11 children with disabilities. Karsh films this documentary of Tom's life over the course of a year, with each season documented with a series of home video–esque montages of the children ice-skating, swimming and enjoying life.
The film is a roller coaster of emotions with moments of contentment. Tom has two biological sons from her previous marriage when she decides to adopt a girl and then she decides to adopt more. And still more. At one point in the film she says having six kids is no different from having 12 kids, which most people would beg to differ. But Tom believes children are a gift and should be accepted for who they are, no matter what disabilities they might have. Her children are prime examples. The kids for the most part are happy, well adjusted, and bursting with their own personalities and quirks.
There is gentle Anthony, who has a knack for acting in school plays but also has a rare genetic skin disorder that creates red festering sores and blisters all over his body. The process of re-dressing his bandages takes about two hours, a task Tom performs four times a week. Smart, inquisitive, eight-year old Faith was burned as an infant when her crib caught fire in an accident. She firmly believes she will look like "a regular person" when she grows up.
Being a parent is something Tom does with unconditional love. They are her kids and they all call her "Mom." But like every mother, Tom has her flaws. She fails to pay attention to her daughter Margaret who at 18 years old cannot get out very much because she is usually busy helping around the house.
The unlikely star whose face is on the cover of the DVD is 15-year-old Joe, who has cystic fibrosis and AHAD. His erratic behavior and outbursts of anger create friction with Tom and the rest of the children. And it takes its toll on Margaret.
In a one powerful scene Margaret almost breaks down when trying to tell her mother a revelation explaining that the reason she helps her mom is because she is angry. But Tom has just finished dealing with one of Joe's episodes and doesn't seem to know how to handle Margaret's behavior and asks to discuss the issue the next morning. Margaret reluctantly agrees but minutes later she frantically approaches her mother in tears, desperate to express these repressed emotions.
Karsh does a good job at showing both sides of the conflicts arising around Margaret and Tom trying to help Joe before he causes harm to himself or his siblings. "My Flesh and Blood" is one of those films that left me feeling sad yet optimistic. Tom's love and support for her children is commendable, but what will be Margaret's fate? Will she ever find her own identity apart from being her mother's helper? This film doesn't leave the viewers with any real answers which is a bit frustrating but at the same time when it comes to families there are never easy answers. Karsh paints an interesting portrait of an American family, one that lingers long after the credits roll.